She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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