I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
