Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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