Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
