The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
