just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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