His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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