so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
