I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
