Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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