Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
