i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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