I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
