I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I love having hate sex.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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