you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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