Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think your dad took our porno
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
