Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
