I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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