there's paper in my vomit.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
