is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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