You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My vagina just clenched in fear
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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