ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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