You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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