OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
