Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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