I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
