you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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