you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
