....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
