Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
