saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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