I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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