seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just gargled with NyQuil
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
