Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
