that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
