She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize