it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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