You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
