Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
