His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
