She said her name was "party"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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