One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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