He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
