Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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