I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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