btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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