No awkward lesbian experiences without me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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