You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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