you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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