North Korea, Best Korea!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize