You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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