ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
