and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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