...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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