so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize