im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
