come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
