I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
