is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
