Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize