I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
